Mother's Day Reconciliation

Warning this isn't a happy go lucky sort of post. Just me airing my feelings about my own mother.

As I've stated before, my mom and I are not really on speaking terms. A lot of stuff happened last fall and it left me with a lot of wounds and I had to do a lot of healing and protecting of my own family from the drama that insued with her and my stepdad. I've come a long way and I *think* I'm ready to open the door again. I am reluctant. I've given myself all sort of deadlines to call her and they come and go. I think I've done as much as dialed half her number and then change my mind. I have tried really hard to let God guide me on the way and timing to handle this situation. I definitely feel validated that my choice to not include her in our lives for this season was appropriate and what God wanted for us. I asked God to just open my heart when the time was right. I think the time has come to make that phone call. I will have some stipulations on how fast and how involved I will let her into our lives. It will be different and I don't anticipate a fast track to "where we were". You may ask yourself how I'm dealing with forgiveness and I assure you that this isn't an issue of forgiveness but an issue of protecting my family and keeping peace within my marriage. We met with our pastor to discuss this very thing and he assured me that God would want us to protect our marriage from anything that would threaten to shake it. That's the choice we made that validated the pause in my mother/daughter relationship with her.

So, on Mother's Day I just may call her. Wish me luck, say a prayer, anything...I thank you.

As for me....I'm looking forward to a restful weekend and pulling the "Mother's Day" card as much as neccessary to get my way or get a little peace. :-)